Blood Diner

i_mpm9blooddinerAfter my review of Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, this film was recommended as a film I would probably enjoy by a friend. She was pretty on the money with that assessment. While I do have a handful of issues with it, the 80’s cheese that permeates this film much like in Sorority Babes is just too great to not enjoy. Blood Diner released in  1987 is a loose sequel to Blood Feast from 1963 and by loose sequel you could just as easily as say inspired by or based on with the statement being equally valid. Interestingly Blood Feast did get an official sequel in 2002, were still waiting on one for Blood Diner though.

The film is about a pair of brothers Micheal (Rick Burns) and George Tutman (Carl Crew), who as children witnessed the death of their favorite uncle Anwar Tutman (Drew Godderis). Anwar is killed by police after being discovered to be the serial killer responsible for the Glee Club massacre. Which Anwar committed in an attempt to bring back the ancient Lumerian Goddess Sheetar (Tanya Papanicolas). But Anwar messed up the ritual by deflowering the virgin before she could be sacrificed. Before Anwar is killed, he says goodbye to his nephews and tells them to carry on his work, as both boys are members of the same cult as he.  Years later, both boys are now adults running a popular vegetarian restaurant. One night they dig up Anwar’s grave, stealing and resurrecting his brain, which lives in a jar for the rest of the film yet still manages to talk. Uncle Anwar then sets to the task of re-creating the ritual he failed with his nephews to help. The brothers start killing girls, for body parts to create a vessel for the goddess Sheetar, as well as parts need to cook a blood buffet need for the ritual. The trio is being pursued by a pair of bumbling detectives Sheba Jackson (LaNette LaFrance) and Mark Shepard (Roger Dauer), who are placed together by their inept boss Chief Miller (Max Morris).

So if you’re in the mood for a well acted and executed horror film full of hair-raising terror, than I would recommend you pass on Blood Diner. But if on the other hand, you happen to be in the mood for a cheap horror flick that isn’t ashamed to be a cheap horror flick and actually revels in it, than I would recommend this movie.

I love how this film has little rhyme or reason to what’s happening on-screen at any given instant. Sure it all does make sense within the given setup of the film, but it’s still bananas. You have scenes with a girl getting her head deep fried, then running around with a giant hush puppy for a head. Only for a few moments later be watching George getting all amped up while watching Little Jimmy Hitler wrestle on TV. There’s also a scene where George runs down a biker in his van, but the biker doesn’t die. So George hits him again and again and again… you see where this is going. Later to learn the biker died of a heart attack. The biker being hit a half-dozen times doesn’t need to be there and makes little sense. But soon as the ludicrous nature sets in, it becomes actually very enjoyable.

Ludicrous, that’s the best way I can think to describe everything about this movie. If you know that going in, I’d wager you’re going to have fun watching it. Sadly while being ludicrous is one of the film’s strengths it’s also one of its heaviest weaknesses. As you become a bit desensitized to it by the time you reach the final scene. When the film has a sudden shift in tone from a being more of a black comedy for being more of a straight horror film.

Final thoughts, I enjoyed it. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say I loved it. I feel that it was worth the watch and might revisit it again someday, but only if I’m showing to a friend. I love the 80’s the film reeks of and I love the characters as silly as they seem. But the film also feels very dated and you can tell they were working on a shoestring budget at times. While normally this is how I prefer my films, I would have liked to see a little more polish on it. At the very least I would have liked to see the script cleaned up a bit more. But other than that I have nothing else negative to say about Blood Diner. So while it’s hit and miss, it’s more hit than miss giving Blood Diner a 5/10.


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