Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown

conh2posterHow to tackle a movie that features human animal clone hybrids with mouths for belly buttons who melt down and become disgusting smiling balls of goop with teeth, and a giant radiation infused squirrel named Tromie straight up wrecking shit? Also there’s a love story. Not between the squirrel and the subhumanoids, between a subhumanoid and a human. I enjoyed the film for the most part, the wacky premise being among the parts I enjoyed most. But sadly, where Class of Nuke ‘Em High was at least an attempt at horror the same can’t be said for Subhumanoid Meltdown.

This film opens with Tromie the toxic squirrel, in what can only be a nod to the giant Kaiju films smashing the Nukamama nuclear power plant. The power plant rebuilt on the site of the previous power plant from the first film, now has a school built into it the Tromavilline Institute of Technology. A few days earlier ace reporter for the school newspaper Roger Smith (Brick Bronsky) takes part in an experiment to make money. The experiment is a sex study conducted by Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye), who is testing her subhumanoids. Which are genetically engineered humans with mouths for belly buttons being made to replace the working class. Where Professor Holt is the brains, Dean Okra (Scott Resnick) a self-described company man is the payroll. The subhumanoids are perfect except that have a slight problem with melting down, becoming disgusting monsters. After Roger Smith falls in love with the subhumanoid he had sex with during the experiment, Victoria (Leesa Rowland) and learns of the subhumanoid experiments he assaults the power plant to save her. Unfortunately, while Roger is trying to save Victoria from the clutches of Dean Okra, and trying to find a way to stop the meltdown, Tromie also attacks the power plant…

While Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part II feels like a true Troma film in every way, you can still notice the difference between Lloyd Kaufman in the director’s chair, and Eric Louzil alongside Donald G. Jackson who co-directed this sequel. I’m not saying they did a bad job. In fact, they did a fairly good one. I’m just a big Lloyd Kaufman fan boy.

My main two gripes are that, A) the mouth for belly buttons on subhumanoids. It seems like a very strange decision to make and one I wouldn’t have personally made. The mouths seem to rarely come into play, except during the meltdowns, after which the left over monster slime heads mouths are the mouths from the stomach. The rest of the body simply dissolves. While cool at the end of the film, I was still asking the question. What’s the point? B) The Cretins are very lame compared to their counterparts in part 1 and in Return to Nuke ‘Em high. They switch their name to the squirrels… which is funny I guess? But once just to make sure that we know who they are, they do refer to themselves as Cretins. So… why change their name? The name change made zero difference other than to distance it’s self from the original. While this is often a smart move for sequels, this plus no repeating cast distances itself too far.

Final thoughts, meh it was ok. I liked it well enough, but it’s not a film I feel the need to revisit. On the other hand it did pique my interest enough to want to watch Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part III: The Good,the Bad, and the Subhumanoid. Which would make me current on The Nuke ‘Em High films. So while Subhumanoid Meltdown was a cheeky fun romp, it ultimately left me both confused and unfulfilled. This is mostly due to the near complete lack of any horror element instead going for pure humor. So Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part II gets a disappointing 5/10.

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