The Bride (2016)

the-bride-2016-movie-marcello-daciano-4I’m not sure what I was expecting for The Bride beyond being low-budget. Which it was, in spades in fact. I expected better acting and slightly better effects. More than one shooting location was another thing I expected and maybe, just maybe, one character that was memorable or likable. Out of those expectations The Bride delivered on…none? It was really the incredibly low-level of production that was the hardest thing to get past as the vast majority felt like something I could put together and I try not to disparage film makers. But a certain lack of care went into the making of The Bride and it was really felt.

So, a hundred and fifty years before the events of the film takes place, Ayiana (Anne Main) and Apache princess is raped and murdered on her wedding night by a battalion of US troops. She rises from the dead and takes her revenge, killing and scalping all but one member of the battalion. Which would have made a better film. In current day, Kira (Henriette Riddervold) and her fiance Marco (Charkes Campos) arrive at the home of Harrison (Lane Townsend), in which they will be staying until their wedding. The day before the wedding Kira is attempted to be abducted and taken hostage by Earl (Burt Culver), Bobby Joe (Justin Nesbitt), Lee (Will David Jorden) and Ricky (Gregory Stone). Kira fights back against them, which leads to the death of Marco and Kira¬†being raped by three of the men. Kira is then killed and joins Marco in a shallow grave. But the spirit Ayiana allows Kira to come back… with a vengeance.

The Bride is a mix between a rape-revenge film like I Spit on Your Grave and The Crow. Making it feel like a knock-off right out of the gate at The Bride never tries to be better. Which is sad because I really did like it as a premise.

The acting is painful to watch at times. No one in this film feels like they’re trying, between stumbling through their lines and constant stuttering, The Bride has acting on par with a High School Play. I expected poor acting, but The Bride transcends bad here creating a level all its own.

At points The Bride tries to be a legitimate horror film, the attack on the house for the abduction, the rape in the woods and even when the bride stalks her killers. Each time the underproduction knocks its legs out from under it. With the poorly delivered performances, the terrible CGI muzzle flashes, and the tomahawk that looks more out of a high fantasy film than out of a horror.

Final thoughts, the only part that I enjoyed was the attempt at an off putting song, which is nothing more than a lazy attempt in the end. Which comes off as a rip of Nightmare on Elm Street and not in a good way. I have no idea who this film is for, because with such sloppy delivery I surprised it ever got finished in the first place. 3/10

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